


in the center of your heart, can you let me stay there?

by moonpower



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: 00line + mark, A little angst, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff, M/M, Self-Indulgent, coffee addict!jaemin, flustered!renjun, i am very sorry abt that i swear i love jeno so much, i think lmao, jeno only has one line, nahyuckyang are roommates, renjun has hearing problems but it's all better now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-23 00:13:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21310930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonpower/pseuds/moonpower
Summary: Now, listen. Jaemin was sleep deprived, hungry, and his brain cells were fried. Even Jaemin’s surprised he lasted this far. So, he thinks his next course of action was understandable and justifiable. Because here was Renjun, the boy who had been on his mind for weeks now. Renjun, who looks like he’s going to give him free food. Renjun, who’s smiling reluctantly at him. Just, the mere existence of Renjun and his oh, so beautiful timing and face. Jaemin’s brain short-circuited.“I love you.”
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin
Comments: 16
Kudos: 230





	in the center of your heart, can you let me stay there?

**Author's Note:**

> so... this is my first ever nct fic and my contribution to the renmin tag. this actually started as a story that was a requirement in one of our writing classes but i have decided to post it seeing as i'm a bit proud of how i actually managed to finish a fic this time (also to my friend karol, thank you for always supporting me and giving this fic lots of love <333)
> 
>   
disclaimer: the portrayal of having hearing problems in this story is purely based on what i have researched about it and what i have experienced on being with people who are close to me that are suffering from it. the same goes with auditory neuropathy spectrum disorder (ansd). if i have offended someone or have done something wrong, please do let me know and i will gladly educate myself more.
> 
> this is also unbeta-ed so there might be some grammatical errors and english is not my first language hehe.

The bell at the top of the glass door softly rang, signaling the arrival of a new customer. It was an ordinary day in A Cup of Coffee, the coffee shop at the corner near Haneul University. The place was filled with students on their laptops or books with two or three cups of coffee on their tables, the result of trying to stay awake in order to finish their plates and papers.

Jaemin ran a hand on his already messy blonde hair. He hasn’t got a haircut in three months, making his hair long enough to be tucked beneath his ear and his bangs nearly covering his eyes. His tall, slender body slumped as he almost dragged himself towards his favorite coffee shop. It’s only been two months since the new semester started yet Jaemin felt as if every week is hell week. He didn’t know being in junior year would be a great leap from his once at-ease freshman and sophomore life. He supposes it’s because he have to take majority of his major subjects now compared to taking mostly his minor subjects the last two years.

He put down his backpack and books on his usual table beside the window and proceeded to line up for his drink. Jaemin has been a loyal customer of the café ever since he was a freshman two years ago. Back then, the walls were painted pastel yellow, with paintings of flowers hanged on them. Now two years later, the walls are already in beige and replaced the paintings of flowers with poetry written in tanning parchment papers framed.

Jaemin knows the owner, Johnny, and his younger brother, Mark ever since he was in high school. That’s why he’s confident about leaving his stuff on a table alone, knowing how safe they are in Johnny’s care.

“Next, please…”

He lifted his head up from trying to remove a near invisible dirt on his sneakers and met the deepest brown eyes he have seen in his entire life. Even though the café was brightly illuminated by the sunlight and LED lights on the ceiling, the boy’s eyes were still in the darkest shade of brown he’d known making them look as if they were pure black

Jaemin felt as if all the sleepiness was punched out of his system and he had never felt more alive than he was when he saw boy at the back of the counter. The boy’s black hair was swept up on one side. He had a narrow nose and a prominent jawline. His shoulders weren’t that broad, and he has a slender form. He was smaller than Jaemin, about five centimeters or so. And, oh, Jaemin was completely enamored by how beautiful the boy was.

“Excuse me, sir? May I take your order?”

Jaemin snapped out of his reverie and quickly stated his order, “Venti iced americano with four shots of espresso, no ice.”

The boy’s—Renjun, he read at the boy’s nametag—left eyebrow rose up upon hearing Jaemin’s, for the lack of a better word, interesting choice of beverage. But the boy just punched his order and told him his due.

Jaemin nearly bumped his thigh on a nearby table when he was returning to his table, eyes still glued on the boy at the back of the counter. Although once he reached his table, Jaemin began to work on his readings. He had to spend twice the amount he gives into reading every excerpt, the image of a certain boy kept on appearing on his head.

A few minutes after, he heard his name being called by Mark who was working on the claiming area. He was surprised when he saw a yellow post-it note sticking on the cup.

Jaemin frowned, “Uhh, Mark? Is this from you?”

Said boy glanced at him, on the cup, and back at him, his lips forming an ‘o’ as the realization hit him. “Weird. But that’s not from me.”

Jaemin replied a quiet thanks and went back to his seat. He unfolded the post-it note and read the message:

_“Interesting choice of a coffee mixture. I do hope you’re not drinking that on an empty stomach, or you can bid your stomach lining goodbye._ __  
  
_\- RJ_  
  
_PS. Please don’t mind me. I’m just honestly curious how you’re still alive with that kind of drink going down on your digestive track.”_

Jaemin’s lips parted in shock and he quickly looked on the counter to see the boy accommodating the customer in front. Jaemin quickly took his own post-it notepad in his bag and started writing

_“Oh, hi! Don’t worry, I had lunch before going here c: I mean, I usually take 4-6 cups of coffee a day so…¯\\_(_ _ツ)_/¯ What about you, then. What do you usually drink?_

_  
_I’m Na Jaemin, btw. I saw your nametag earlier and I feel like it would be unfair if I’m the only one who knows your name.”_ _

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Jaemin quickly packed up his things, and went straight to the counter, discretely sticking the folded post-it on the tip box and giving Renjun a smile.

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Jaemin swore he could feel his spirit fly when Renjun smiled back at him.

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\--

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****  
  
**DORM 127 Group Chat**  
\----------------------

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**Lee Donghyuck (@0fullsun0)**

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so,  
a certain birdie just told me you've been flirting with the cafe's barista for weeks now 😏😏😏  
  
  
**Liu Yangyang (@10yang2x)****  
**Oho~? 👀👀👀👀

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**Na Jaemin (@nana0813)**  
_seen_

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**Lee Donghyuck (@0fullsun0)**  
oh wow, sure, be like that, na jaemin. i will find out soon enough 🧐🧐

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**Na Jaemin (@nana0813)**  
_seen_

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-**\----------------------**

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It's been two weeks since Jaemin and Renjun started talking through scribbles written on plastic coffee cups, post-it notes and tissue papers. Of course, this wouldn't just pass his nosy friend's ears. Jaemin swears that little birdie Donghyuck was talking about was Mark considering Mark is Johnny's younger brother and would sometimes work part-time at the cafe.

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It's not that Jaemin doesn't want his friends to know Renjun. But to call what's been happening with them as flirting seems......juvenile. To Jaemin, Renjun was like a pure, innocent soul and to say that he's been flirting with him feels like committing a crime.

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He shut his phone off and focused his attention on his task at hand. Today was his organization's monthly volunteering work and his team was assigned to a small school slash clinic for people who have hearing and speaking problems. The clinic was about an hour from their university and his team has been there for two hours already, assisting the teachers who have been teaching sign language and picking up quite a few lessons for themselves.

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Jaemin was in the middle of feeding a little girl, Eunjin , who Jaemin’s been cooing at for an hour now. Eunjin was an adorable six-year-old who has speech problems caused by the trauma she got when her family was caught in an accident last year. Jaemin can’t help but feel his heart throb as he watches the girl try to copy the signs her teacher was doing earlier.

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He was in the midst of cleaning up the table when Eunjin suddenly pointed her finger at Jaemin’s back and bounced up and down in her seat. Jaemin turned around and was surprised to see Renjun’s familiar face talking to Eunjin’s teacher. The boy didn’t notice how long he was staring until Renjun’s eyes met his. Renjun's face contorted into a shocked expression before his eyes and lips curved into a smile.

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Jaemin’s felt his heart throb again. Although this time, it’s because of an entirely different reason.

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\--

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“Here,” Jaemin looked up to see Renjun with a muffin in his outstretched hand. “You’re the last person I expected to see here today.”

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Jaemin thanked him before moving to give Renjun space beside him on the bench. “Well, to be fair, I also didn’t expect I’d see you here.”

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Renjun chuckled, “Nah, this is practically my second home.” Jaemin raised his eyebrows, though before he could ask Renjun, the boy beat him to it. “My parents became patrons of this clinic ever since I was diagnosed with ANSD.”

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Jaemin turned to look at Renjun, “You mean Auditory Neuropathy Spectrum Disorder?”

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Renjun nodded, “I forgot that you’re a physical therapy student. I guess you already know what that means.”

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“When you told me you have hearing problems, I thought it wasn’t that serious.” Jaemin frowned.

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Renjun grimaced, “I mean, now it’s not. I went to surgery when I was five, had cochlear implants so my hearing isn’t bad as before. Before, all I could hear was white noise so the only way I could communicate with people was through sign language. After my surgery though, all I need is hearing aids and I could finally hear properly. Though, there’s a certain distance. If you’re, like, fifteen feet away, I probably wouldn’t hear you. That surgery costed my parent’s savings and we’re still paying for the loan we took for that surgery to happen.”

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“So the reason why you’re working in the cafe —”

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“is because I’m helping them in our expenses plus I can’t just depend on the allowance my scholarship gives me.”

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Jaemin doesn’t know what to do but stare in admiration at the boy in front of him. The boy who not only has a beautiful face but a golden heart and an intelligent mind. His heart skipping beats and his mind filled with thoughts about Renjun.

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Maybe he was staring too long because the tips of Renjun’s ears are starting to turn red, “Hey, why are you staring at me like that?”

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Jaemin just grinned playfully and continued staring at the flustering boy, “Stop staring!” Renjun put his hand on Jaemin’s face and faced it in front. Jaemin just laughed and acquiesced.

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\--

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_“Stop frowning or your eyebrows are going to combine into one line. >:(” _The post-it note on Jaemin’s coffee cup said. He turned around to see the writer looking at him from behind the counter, putting two fingers on his eyebrows as if imitating the emoticon he wrote. Jaemin chuckled and sent an ‘okay’ sign before returning on his readings.

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It’s been a month since he and Renjun met but their routine of exchanging notes still occurs. Jaemin can’t help but admit how he’s been spending more time in the café than his own dorm. His friends—more of Donghyuck flooding his inbox while Yangyang overly reacts—won’t stop bothering him, often flooding his phone with messages and taunts about a certain coffee shop barista.

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Jaemin was in the middle of memorizing when he heard the sound of a glass breaking and an angry voice of a woman, “Are you trying to kill me?! I said to not put hazelnut in my drink!”

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Jaemin turned around and quickly stood up when he heard Renjun’s soft voice mumbling apologies while bowing in front of the woman. He saw Johnny going out of the kitchen and standing in the middle of Renjun and the angry woman.

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“Are you the owner? Are all your workers this dumb, huh?! I clearly told him about my allergy, yet he didn’t follow!” The woman pointed her finger at Renjun who seemed to shrink behind Johnny.

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“Ma’am, please calm down. I’m sure it’s unintentional and probably caused by Renjun’s hearing problems. We’re sorry for this slip-up, we’ll make it up to you—”

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“Hah! Hearing problems, you say. Then you shouldn’t have hired such a dumb, worthless person like that!”

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Jaemin had enough and walked towards the woman, ready to give her a piece of his mind but Mark suddenly appeared at his side and stopped him.

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“Ma’am, I’m terribly sorry for endangering your life, but I won’t let you talk like that to my employees.” Johnny went to the cash register and gave the woman a few bills, “This is your refund for the drink, Ma’am. We hope you never come again.” Johnny remarked, mockery dripping in his words.

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The woman was about to retaliate but the car outside, which Jaemin assumed is hers, let out a few honks. The woman rolled her eyes and stomped her way out.

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Jaemin looked at Renjun but the boy hurriedly went into the kitchen. Jaemin was about to follow him but Mark grabbed his right arm, “Don’t follow him, Jaemin. Just... give him some time and let Johnny take care of it.”

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Although he doesn’t want to, Jaemin dejectedly nodded and went back to his seat. He no longer remembers what he was supposed to study.

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\--

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It was quarter to 10 PM and Renjun’s shift was about to end. Jaemin stayed, planning to talk to Renjun after his work. After the incident, Renjun replaced Mark in the claiming area instead of staying in the counter. Thus, Renjun is out of Jaemin’s line of sight.

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As soon as Renjun step foot outside the kitchen, Jaemin quickly put his backpack on and followed Renjun outside. “Renjun! Hey, wait up!”

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Renjun ceased his steps once they were far enough from the café. He turned around and gave Jaemin a smile. But Jaemin could see how fake and forced it was. It doesn’t even reach Renjun’s eyes.

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“Hey, why are you still here at this hour?” Renjun’s voice was hoarse and his eyes were red-rimmed, showing how much he probably cried in the kitchen after the incident.

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“Are you… alright?” Jaemin reluctantly asked, slowly walking towards the smaller.

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“Yup, I’m fine! Just peachy, though.” Renjun forced a laugh but ended up grimacing when he himself heard how forced it was.

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And it hurts. Jaemin could feel his stomach twisting inside but not because of the usual butterflies fluttering. It feels as if he’s being punched inside his gut. Jaemin stayed silent and as the seconds pass, he saw how tears were already forming in Renjun’s eyes. Again.

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Before Renjun could wipe them with his hands, Jaemin closed the distance between them and pulled Renjun towards his chest.

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Renjun was shocked and tried to struggle out of Jaemin’s arms, “O-Oi, what are y-you doing? Ya! Let go—”

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“Please. Just let me do this.” Jaemin mumbled.

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Renjun’s arms fell and went to hold Jaemin’s waist hesitantly. Not long after, he wrapped his arms tightly on Jaemin’s waist, his fists closing in on Jaemin’s shirt.

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Jaemin buried his head in Renjun’s neck, “You’re okay. I’m here. You’re not alone, alright? You’re strong. You’re smart. You’re not worthless.”

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They stayed in that position with Renjun hiding his face in Jaemin’s chest while the latter continued whispering comforting words on the former’s ear. Jaemin gave no attention to the wet patch in his shirt slowly forming due to Renjun’s tears. He hugged the boy tighter, promising to himself that as long as Renjun allowed, he will hold him forever in his arms.

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\--

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But that didn’t last long. After Jaemin comforted Renjun after the incident in the café, Renjun assured Jaemin that he’s okay and went home. But on the following day in the café, Renjun was nowhere to be found. Jaemin asked Johnny but the man only said that Renjun’s school papers piled up so the younger asked for an indefinite leave.

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Jaemin couldn’t help but feel worried for Renjun. He didn’t know how to contact the boy since he was dumb enough to not ask for the boy’s number despite being friends for a month now. He didn’t want to ask Mark or Johnny for Renjun’s number. He would rather the boy give it to him himself.

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Mark told him that Renjun’s just probably focusing on the schoolwork he missed but Jaemin can’t help but feel as if it’s more than just university that’s making Renjun, he dares to say, ignore him.

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A week after the incident, Jaemin found himself staring at the familiar boy standing behind the counter as he opened the glass door of the coffee shop. Jaemin gaped as he saw Renjun smiling at the customer in front of him and couldn’t help but feel a rush of excitement through his veins, nearly jogging his way towards the counter.

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“Next, please.”

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“Hi,” Jaemin wanted to punch himself for his word choice. _Hi? Really, Na Jaemin? What the hell?_ He cleared his throat before speaking again, “I haven’t seen you for a while.” _I missed seeing you._

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Renjun seemed taken aback before quickly morphing his face into a reluctant smile, “Uhh, I was busy at university. The usual?”

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Jaemin slowly nodded. He wanted to talk to Renjun more but there’s a line behind him and Renjun already called the person after him. He walked to his usual spot, deciding to comfort himself with just staring at the boy and waiting for the note that would be posted in his cup.

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Yet, no post-it was accompanying his cup when he claimed it. Mark just shrugged, as if telling him that he has no idea about the missing note.

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Jaemin wants to lie to himself that he wasn’t bothered by the sudden change. That he didn’t waste his time in the café staring at the still-full coffee cup and the boy in the counter who seemed to be avoiding his gaze. But what his mind doesn’t want to acknowledge, his throbbing heart was screaming otherwise.

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\--

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Renjun’s avoiding-Jaemin plan was working. It’s been three days and Jaemin still hasn’t got the chance to talk to the boy. Renjun seemed to be really good at playing hide-and-seek, whenever there’s no line in the counter, he would go inside the kitchen and let Jeno, Mark’s replacement whenever he’s not available, work in the counter.

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Jaemin’s first draft of term paper was also due at the end of the week, so he couldn’t afford to wait for Renjun’s shift to finish. Today was no different. He was greeted by Jeno who’s behind the counter. When he asked about where Renjun was, the boy just let out a weird ‘eung??’ noise of confusion until realization dawned upon him.

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“Oh, Renjunnie? He has to meet with his group on one of their major subjects every afternoon starting today so he asked Johnny-hyung to switch shifts with me.” Jeno shrugged and gave him a tight-lipped smile, as though that was the only thing he knew of Renjun’s sudden disappearance. Although Jaemin could tell with the way Jeno seemed to avoid his eyes that there was more to it than doing group projects every afternoon. With how Renjun’s new shift was completely unsynchronized with his time in the café, Jaemin can’t bring himself to believe what Jeno has said.

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Instead of spending the rest of his time in the café, he decided to just continue working on his paper at their dorm, taking home two large cups of his iced americano and one chocolate chip muffin.

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When he arrived at their dorm, he was greeted by the sight of his two best friends/dormmates aggressively shouting at each other while playing Mario Kart. Both of them paused upon hearing the door open and made an exaggerated look of surprise.

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“Wow… Na Jaemin finally acknowledged that he has a dorm, not just a bed and a bathroom.” Donghyuck started.

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“Hmm, to what do we owe your presence today, Na Jaemin-ssi?” Yangyang continued.

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Jaemin just rolled his eyes on his best friends’ antics and proceeded to put his belongings on the desk beside his bed. He was about to lay down when Donghyuck suddenly attacked him, making both of them fall on the bed with Donghyuck on top of him.

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“What the hell, Hyuck! You’re heavy!” Jaemin grunted as his head was covered by his sheets.

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“Jaemin~ talk to us~ Why are you here in the dorm instead of spending your time in the café worshipping your barista boy, hmm?” Donghyuck whined.

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“This is also my dorm? And I was NOT worshipping Renjun and for the nth time, stop calling him barista boy. His name is Huang Renjun.”

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Yangyang huffed, “That sounded so fond, I am disgusted.”

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Finally, Donghyuck stood up and sat on Yangyang’s bed in front of Jaemin’s. “Alright, our, err—middle brother. Do tell your brothers about your problem. Having trouble in paradise?”

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Yangyang snickered while Jaemin wanted to throw up at Donghyuck’s words, “Please, we’re all born in the same year, Donghyuck. Stop talking as if you’re a thirty-year-old man.”

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“Hah! You think I didn’t notice how mopey and sulky you were these past few days? We know your emo twitter account, Jaemin. You’ve done nothing but tweet sad lyrics, it’s honestly disturbing.”

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Jaemin gaped, “How—You know what, I’m not going to ask anymore.”

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“So, can you please just please pour out your feelings to your heart’s content, Na Jaemin-ssi?”

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As much as Jaemin wanted to just keep his frustrations to himself, he couldn’t help but start ranting to his best friends, “It’s just—okay, it’s about Renjun. I think you already know what happened last week since Mark tells you Donghyuck everything. So, you know after the incident, I stayed until Renjun’s shift ended and uhh..” Jaemin rubbed the back of his nape, the tips of his ears turning red, “comforted him? Just hugged him and told him stuff.”

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Before he could continue speaking though, Donghyuck started shrieking while Yangyang pretended to vomit but joined with the shrieking nonetheless. He gave the two a look that says _shut up_, Donghyuck stopped shrieking like a whale and pretended to compose himself and sat straight.

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“Okay, and after that, he kind of disappeared? He took a one week leave from the café. Mark and Johnny told me it was because of his piled-up schoolwork but I think it’s more than that. Plus, a week? With a brain like his, he could probably finish all of those in just four days.”

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“And…?” Donghyuck looked expectantly while Yangyang bounced his legs up-and-down in anticipation.

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“And just… when he got back, he started avoiding me. The post-it notes were gone, Hyuck! And he changed his shift, making his and my schedule not meet.”

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“Aw, that’s okay, lover boy. Your amazing dormmates are here to save the day—oof!” Jaemin threw his pillow, smacking Donghyuck right on his face.

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“Why don’t you just confront Renjun, you know. Instead of wallowing and sulking. And confess your feelings, too. I’ve had enough of your pining tweets in my timeline.” Yangyang rumbled.

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Jaemin’s mind seemed to stop working as he processed Yangyang’s words, “W-What? Confess what?! What do you mean feelings?! I am NOT in love with Renjun!”

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Yangyang snickered, “I was assuming you only like Renjun but wow, the 4-letter L-word? Your words, Jaemin. Not mine.” Yangyang whooped while Donghyuck began hollering.

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“What—you don’t think you’re in love with barista boy when all you do is talk about him as if the sun shines out of his ass. Also! Don’t think I didn’t catch you studying sign language last week. Why would you even study that when you have perfectly functional ears and mouth, huh?” Donghyuck taunted.

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“Na Jaemin is in love! In LOVE! We thought you’re going to do your same routine of flirting-without-committing with Renjun, but wow, it’s THAT serious! Man, you’re whipped!” Donghyuck said in the midst of trying to breathe through his cackling.

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Jaemin’s face started burning up until it reached his neck, “Donghyuck, shut your mouth!” He crossed the distance between their beds and started choking Donghyuck with a pillow. Yangyang just pulled his phone as he recorded his two roommates murder each other.

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Yangyang and Donghyuck’s words (and laughter) haunted Jaemin the whole night.

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\--

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It’s a bad day for Jaemin. For one, he didn’t have even a wink of sleep the night before and was probably running on caffeine the whole day. His term paper draft is due the next day and all he did during his vacant times was proofreading and revising. He also had a surprise quiz on two subjects and as much as he was thankful he was able to answer, he would rather not experience that when he’s one-step in front the doors of death.

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He swears he had his eyes half-closed as he stumbled his way towards the coffee shop’s counter, mumbling his usual order. Once Jeno gave back his change, he didn’t bother counting them and went to his seat, dumping all his things and his head on the table.

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Jaemin swore he was already on the brink of sleep when someone put a ceramic mug and a chocolate chip muffin on his table. Instead of smelling the aroma of his usual black coffee with four shots of espresso, a gentle, flowery aroma met his nostrils.

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He lifted his head just to see the light color of what he thinks is Jasmine tea in front of him. But the change of drink wasn’t the only thing that shocked him but the person standing beside the table.

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Now, listen. Jaemin was sleep deprived, running on the accumulated 17 hours of sleep he had the whole week. Jaemin was dehydrated and caffeinated, forgotten the concept of water and drank 6 cups of coffee a day. Jaemin was hungry, skipped lunch for the sake of staying in the library to proofread and revise his term paper. Lastly, Jaemin’s brain cells were fried. Two surprise quizzes and the repeated cycle of reading and revising a paper? Jaemin’s surprised he lasted this far.

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So, he thinks his next course of action was understandable and justifiable. Because here was Renjun, the boy who had been on his mind for weeks now. Renjun, who looks like he’s going to give him free food. Renjun, who’s smiling reluctantly at him. Just, the mere existence of Renjun and his oh, so beautiful timing and face. Jaemin’s brain short-circuited.

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“I love you.”

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_What? Did I just….?_

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Renjun’s eyes widen, jaw hanging wide while Jaemin suddenly sat upright as the realization of what he said dawned on him. As much as he wanted to take his words back, he was drawn by the sight of Renjun flushing red starting from the tip of his ears until his face and neck were pink. Renjun opened and closed his mouth like a fish but was too overwhelmed to say what he wanted to. Unable to cope with Jaemin’s statement and the way the boy was still staring at him too intensely, Renjun hurriedly went back to the kitchen.

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Jaemin was still in shock but he found himself not wanting to take back his statement. It was as if a large burden was lifted from his shoulders. He remembered Donghyuck and Yangyang’s words three days ago.

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Before he could dwell on the memory, he was distracted by the return of the familiar yellow-colored post-it on the saucer of the cup.

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“_Hi. Sorry for changing your order but I’ve told you many times, not only your stomach lining’s going to be destroyed by the amount of coffee you drink in a day but your whole digestive system. Also, Donghyuck told Mark who told me that you probably skipped lunch today. The muffin is on the house :)___  
  
_P.S.: Sorry for avoiding you. Let’s talk later? ;_ ;_”

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There’s no denying anymore. Jaemin is truly and irrevocably in love with Huang Renjun.

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\--

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It took two hours (yes, he counted) before Renjun went out of the kitchen and went back to his position in the claiming area. Jaemin changed his place to a seat where Renjun would be on his line of sight. Jaemin couldn’t help but chuckle at how pink the boy’s face still is.

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He remained staring at Renjun, his term paper, proofread and revised four times, was left discarded in his table. He put his arm on the table and rested his face on his hand, eyes still not leaving the barista in the claiming area.

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_Bingo. _He silently screamed as Renjun finally looked his way, their eyes meeting for a fleeting moment before Renjun hastily turned his head and focused on his task. Yet, the smile on his face wasn’t left unnoticed by Jaemin.

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Jaemin thought he truly would die today. But now, it’s because of an entirely different reason.

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\--

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It was nearing 10 PM when Renjun’s shift finally ended. Jaemin was standing at the streetlight across the café as Renjun let his eyes travel around before meeting Jaemin’s.

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Renjun suddenly took his phone out of his pocket and looked as if he was trying to call someone. Jaemin was surprised to hear his familiar ringtone, seeing an unknown number calling him. Jaemin was quick to put two and two together and accepted the call.

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“Hi…” Jaemin heard the voice he longed for the whole month. He chuckled as he remembered a scene just like this.

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“Please let me finish first. This is the only time I finally pulled myself up and I’m scared of my courage betraying me at the last minute and making myself look like a bigger fool than I already am.” Renjun was rambling and God, Jaemin couldn’t feel anything but absolute fondness at the boy.

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“Okay, so… First, I’m sorry for just avoiding you like that out of nowhere. That was a jerk move, really. But I just couldn’t face you like that after I broke down in front of you and just…it’s been so long since that happened.”

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“Don’t get me wrong, Jaemin. It’s not that I don’t trust you. Really, you are one of the few people who I managed to become comfortable with for such a short time. I just—I got scared at how quickly I’ve become attached to you. I couldn’t even imagine going to the café without seeing you sitting in your usual seat beside the window.”

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Renjun paused and Jaemin waited patiently, letting the boy collect his thoughts first. “I gave my trust to a lot of people before. Been attached to people who I thought accepted me wholly and would stay. But once they saw my ugly side, once they saw how…burdensome I am, they just end up leaving without a word. And I’m so, so scared of you. Of how easily you went through my defenses and just made me feel so many things I’ve never felt before.”

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Renjun let out a sigh before continuing, “I guess that’s it. Uhm, I know my reason is shallow but… can we still go back to what we were before? Please? I’ll make your coffee again but only if you had a proper meal and sleep before.”

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Jaemin chuckled before answering, “Before I answer your question, will you please listen to me first? More of watch me, actually.”

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Renjun nodded but his face morphed into confusion when Jaemin ended the call and put his phone in his pocket. He thought the boy wouldn’t scream the things he wants to say because no matter how much Jaemin screamed, Renjun won’t hear him from that distance.

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But Renjun was shocked as the boy started using his hands, forming familiar signs and gestures he was fluent in.

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_“Firstly, please stop thinking about yourself as a burden or your condition as burdensome. Your condition doesn’t make you any less of a person. It doesn’t change the fact that you are one of the smartest, kindest, and prettiest persons I have ever met.”_

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Jaemin was still stumbling on his signs but after a few seconds, he already got the hang of it. Jaemin’s eyebrows frowned as he concentrated on translating his thoughts into signs.

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_“Huang Renjun, you and your post-it notes that never failed to make my day. Your jasmine tea that miraculously saved my stomach lining from being destroyed. Your words that never failed to make me feel things, making my heart skip a few beats. Your smile could honestly turn a bad day into a beautiful one. Huang Renjun,”_

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Jaemin pointed at Renjun then pointed at himself. He brought his closed left fist in front his chest, laid his right open palm above and moved his palm into two circular motion.

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_“I love you.”_

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Jaemin continued talking through his hands and his eyes, conveying what his lips can do but chose not to do so. Maybe it was his romantic side coming out. He wanted to confess to Renjun through the boy's first language.

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_“Those words might be too intense to use to describe my feelings for you right now. Maybe, I'm still at the stage of liking you. But I know to myself that no matter how long, the only way for me to go is to fall in love with you. The only way is down, deeper until I no longer have the option of going up.”_

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Jaemin’s hands started to tremble as he stared at the boy in front of him. Jaemin swore Renjun’s smile was brighter than the lights of the café, the streetlight above him, even the moon and stars themselves could not compare to how Renjun’s smile was illuminating Jaemin’s sight.

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_“So… will you let me? Fall in love with you?”_

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And that was it. That was Jaemin pouring his heart out to the boy who made him smile more than anyone else in the past month but also, made him feel a lot of emotions; worry, sadness, exhilaration, and love.

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Renjun looked at both sides of the road before crossing the distance between them. Renjun was walking fast but slowed down as he neared Jaemin.

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“You…really learned sign language. How… how long have you been studying it?”

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Jaemin rubbed his nape, feeling flustered with Renjun leaving his question hanging. He couldn’t help but think whether he made a mistake, “I started studying it after volunteering in the clinic? I kind of got interested after seeing the kids in the clinic. And….”

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“And…?” Renjun looked so adorably expectant, Jaemin felt his heart painfully throbbing in his chest.

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Jaemin frowned, “And that’s it, I guess.” He acted as if he didn’t know what Renjun was talking about.

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And boy, Jaemin has discovered that a pouting Renjun is dangerous to his health. If a pouty Renjun suddenly asked him to give him his bank details, Jaemin would probably give it without hesitation.

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“Ya! I practically confessed my whole heart to you earlier, yet you’re still asking about that. Of course, you’re the biggest reason why I studied sign language.” Jaemin sulked, “You haven’t even answered my question yet...”

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Renjun snickered and before Jaemin could comprehend what was happening, Renjun held the collar of his shirt and hoisted himself up, letting their lips meet.

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It took Jaemin a few seconds before he, too, closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Renjun’s waist. The kiss was nothing more than just their lips softly pressing with each other but Jaemin swore he could feel thousands of sparks igniting from where his skin touched Renjun's. Renjun was the one to break it off and leaned his forehead on Jaemin's.

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“Does that answer your question?” Renjun was smiling so wide, his eyes turning into crescents and Jaemin wants nothing more than to freeze the moment and keep staring at Renjun’s beautiful smile.

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“Nope. I want to hear you say it.”

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“Ah! I already exhausted my fill of embarrassing myself today, Jaemin-ah.” Renjun said, hiding his face on Jaemin’s chest.

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Jaemin chuckled, “Please? Pretty boy, pretty please?”

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Renjun groaned at Jaemin’s poor use of alliteration but gave up and did what the boy wanted.

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“I love you.”

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Jaemin cooed as Renjun groaned and returned into hiding his face on Jaemin’s chest. The smiles on their face and the fast beating of their heart was enough to convey what their lips couldn’t.

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**Author's Note:**

> that was it! thank you so much for giving this fic a chance and your time ; _ ; 
> 
> the title is from seventeen's let me hear you say (top 3 best song in the album i don't take criticisms). sorry if you think the title doesn't match the overall tone of the story. i really suck at giving titles aaaaaa 
> 
> comments and kudos are highly appreciated <33 see u on my next fic! (if i ever get the nerve to write another one again, lmao)
> 
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/02JS)   
[twt](https://twitter.com/jaemrenjwi)


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